Even introverts know what loneliness feels like. There is a key difference between being alone and feeling lonely. “Alone” is a state of being by oneself without others around, and can actually be a healthy phenomenon. Everyone needs a little time away from others to plan, consider, and simply to rest. Loneliness is a different matter entirely.

就算是性格內(nèi)向的人，也知道孤獨(dú)是什么滋味。“獨(dú)自一人” 和“感到孤獨(dú)” 有著根本區(qū)別?！蔼?dú)自一人”是指只有自己、身邊無(wú)人陪伴的狀態(tài)，實(shí)際上也可以是一種健康現(xiàn)象。每個(gè)人都需要一點(diǎn)獨(dú)處的時(shí)間，用于計(jì)劃、思考或純粹休息。孤獨(dú)卻完全是另外一碼事。

While it’s normal to feel lonely or isolated from time to time, too much loneliness can be unhealthy or even dangerous. Numerous studies have linked excessive, ongoing feelings of loneliness and isolation to depression, mental illness, and even physical problems such as insomnia, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

雖然偶爾感到孤獨(dú)或孤立還算正常，但若經(jīng)常如此，可能就不健康甚至危險(xiǎn)了。無(wú)數(shù)研究均認(rèn)為持續(xù)的過(guò)度孤獨(dú)感會(huì)導(dǎo)致抑郁癥、心理疾病，以及像失眠、糖尿病、高血壓和心臟病等各種身體疾病。

The good news is, loneliness is a condition that can be fought against and overcome! Here are 9 things to do when you feel lonely that will make you feel healthier, more integrated, and less painfully alone.

好消息是，孤獨(dú)是一種能夠戰(zhàn)勝克服的狀態(tài)！當(dāng)你感到孤獨(dú)時(shí)，可以嘗試下面9件事情，這樣你會(huì)感到更健康、更協(xié)調(diào)，也不再為孤單而煩惱了。

1. Take a walk

散散步

This may seem disingenuous, but walking has been proven to offer many great health benefits both for the body and the mind. Any form of exercise would do as well, but walking is better because it allows one to explore their town or the area around them in a way a car simply does not allow.

這個(gè)建議聽(tīng)上去好像不夠?qū)嵳\(chéng)，但事實(shí)證明散步確實(shí)對(duì)身心健康大有益處。其他鍛煉方式也行，但散步更好，因?yàn)樯⒉阶屓擞袡C(jī)會(huì)探索自己的城市或附近街區(qū)，而這一點(diǎn)絕不是汽車(chē)能代勞的。

While walking, take a different route than you usually would to get to a usual goal point. Even better, simply pick a direction at random and start. Just the feeling of walking down the street, surrounded by traffic and other people, can make you feel more involved in the pulse of your city or town. Besides, you may discover something new you didn’t know your town had to offer!

散步時(shí)選一條不同于平常去往目的地的道路；最好是隨便選個(gè)方向走一走。走在大街上被人群車(chē)輛包圍的感覺(jué)，能讓你覺(jué)得自己和這座城市更加密切相關(guān)。而且，你或許還能在自己的城市里發(fā)現(xiàn)新奇的事物呢！

2. Join a club

加入俱樂(lè)部

Everyone has an interest or passion, and sometimes a fresh point of view can help you enhance your talents or interests in new and surprising ways. Even the smallest town usually has at least some clubs. Maybe you enjoy chess and would like to play with others to sharpen your skills. You could even consider something you’ve never tried before: pottery, writing, wine tasting, or even dancing are all good ways to interact with others and try new things. If your area doesn’t have any clubs that interest you, why not start one of your own? Odds are good that if you have an interest, someone else in the area is likely to share it.

人人都有愛(ài)好、激情甚或創(chuàng)意觀點(diǎn)，而這些能通過(guò)新奇方式激發(fā)你的稟賦或興趣。就算是再小的城市也會(huì)有幾個(gè)俱樂(lè)部?；蛟S你喜歡下棋，希望找人一起切磋技藝；你還可以考慮以前從不曾嘗試的玩意兒：陶藝、寫(xiě)作、品酒或跳舞都是與人接觸并學(xué)習(xí)新事物的好辦法。如果附近沒(méi)有你感興趣的俱樂(lè)部，那何不自己創(chuàng)辦一個(gè)呢？當(dāng)你有某個(gè)興趣愛(ài)好時(shí)，或許周邊的人也會(huì)被你帶動(dòng)起來(lái)。

3. Talk to people

與人交談

Isolation is a new hallmark of our paradoxically “connected” society. Between texting, Tweeting, Facebooking, email and the phone, people are more connected than ever before. The problem with all these kinds of communication is that they omit the face-to-face element of socialization.

在這個(gè)“密切聯(lián)系”的社會(huì)，“隔離”卻諷刺性地成了一個(gè)新標(biāo)志。隨著短信、推特、臉譜、郵件及電話(huà)的普及，人與人之間的聯(lián)系前所未有地頻繁密集。但問(wèn)題是，所有這些通訊方式都忽略了社交中的“面對(duì)面接觸”元素。

This can lead to situations like someone observing, “I have 6,000 friends on Facebook, 4,822 Twitter followers, and who knows how many people watching me on social media…and I don’t have one person I can call to go out for the night!” Try getting out and talking to your neighbors, the cashier at the convenience store, or even total strangers. Ask questions and listen carefully to the answers. This is a great way to make new connections, or maybe meet people who share your interests and hobbies.

這就造成了類(lèi)似情景：“我在臉譜網(wǎng)上有6000位好友、推特網(wǎng)上有4822個(gè)粉絲，而且無(wú)數(shù)人都能在社交媒體上看到我……可當(dāng)我晚上想要出去玩時(shí)，竟然沒(méi)有一個(gè)能夠叫上一起去的人！” 因此，請(qǐng)走出去主動(dòng)和鄰居、便利店收銀員甚至陌生人講講話(huà)吧。問(wèn)幾個(gè)問(wèn)題并認(rèn)真聽(tīng)對(duì)方解答。這是建立新聯(lián)系或認(rèn)識(shí)志同道合朋友的好方法。

4. Go to the coffee shop

去咖啡店

These days you can’t throw a rock without hitting a coffee shop, especially in the larger cities. Coffee shops are a great place to meet people and make contacts. As with any other social situation, it’s not enough simply to sit there sipping on your venti mochachocafrappalottaccino with half-fat soy and extra espresso. Compliment someone on their purse, their shoes, their tie, or even their laptop. A compliment is a good way to start up a conversation and might just make you a new friend.

現(xiàn)如今，尤其是在大城市，你隨便扔塊石頭就能砸中一家咖啡店?？Х鹊晔墙Y(jié)識(shí)朋友的好地方。正如其他社交場(chǎng)合一樣，你不能只坐在那兒純粹喝咖啡，夸兩句別人的包包、鞋子、領(lǐng)帶或電腦本吧。一句贊美的話(huà)就是開(kāi)始交談甚至結(jié)識(shí)新朋友的好辦法。

5. Be alert to verbal and nonverbal cues

注意口頭及非口頭暗示

90% of all communication is nonverbal, based upon eye contact, body language, facial expression, and unconscious gestures and motions. These cues, when taken with verbal indicators such as word choice, tone of voice, and overall “projection,” create communication. Look for people with positive, open body language. These people carry themselves with their heads erect and make direct eye contact. They don’t keep their hands in their pockets or move aside more than necessary to allow others to pass on the street. A smile could be an invitation to talk. Be ready to accept it!

按照眼神接觸、肢體語(yǔ)言、面部表情和無(wú)意識(shí)動(dòng)作來(lái)劃分，90%的溝通是非口頭的。這些再加上諸如用詞、聲調(diào)、總體“影射”等口頭暗示，即構(gòu)成了交流。尋找肢體語(yǔ)言積極開(kāi)放的人，這些人往往昂頭挺胸、不回避眼神直接接觸；他們不會(huì)把手插在口袋里，或惶惶然給街上的人讓路。一個(gè)微笑即表示愿意交談，請(qǐng)接受吧！

6. Try nurturing others

嘗試關(guān)懷他人

Caring for others matters, even when it’s only done in small ways. Reading to the elderly or being a child or teen mentor is excellent for not only curing your own loneliness, but someone else’s as well. Visiting, conversing with, or reading to the elderly makes them feel more connected and useful, especially if they live in an assisted-care facility.

去關(guān)心他人的事情，哪怕只是以細(xì)微的方式。為老人讀書(shū)、做小孩或青少年指導(dǎo)員不僅能治愈你自己的孤獨(dú)感，還能幫助到他人?？赐先?、和老人交談或?yàn)槔先俗x書(shū)，能讓他們感到自己不孤單、還有價(jià)值——尤其是當(dāng)這些老人住在養(yǎng)老院的情況下。

Serving as a child or teen mentor can help you pass on knowledge and information to the next generation, whether it’s practical advice and skills such as how to work a polynomial equation, or giving them life lessons like how to get over a broken heart or dealing with indifferent or unfriendly peers and authority figures. By caring for others, you can also care for yourself by showing you have something of value to contribute to your world and the people in it.

做小孩或青少年指導(dǎo)員能幫你把知識(shí)與信息教授給下一代——不論那是諸如怎樣解多項(xiàng)式方程的實(shí)際建議和技能，還是像如何度過(guò)傷心時(shí)刻或怎樣面對(duì)冷漠不友好的同伴上級(jí)等人生教誨。關(guān)心他人的同時(shí)，你也在關(guān)心自己，表明自己有價(jià)值能夠?yàn)樯鐣?huì)和他人做貢獻(xiàn)。

7. Get a pet

養(yǎng)一只寵物

A fuzzy animal like a cat, dog, or even a ferret makes a great companion and confers health benefits. Studies indicate that simply petting an animal reduces blood pressure, anxiety, and may actually be an effective non-medical treatment for certain forms of depression. In addition, the playful antics of a puppy or kitten and the joy of training them to perform various tricks and tasks more than makes up for any inconvenience they may cause while housebreaking.

小貓小狗或雪貂這種毛茸茸的動(dòng)物都是不錯(cuò)的伙伴，對(duì)人的健康很有好處。研究表明，撫摸動(dòng)物能降低血壓和焦慮，是治愈某些抑郁癥狀有效的非藥物療法。而且，小狗小貓憨態(tài)可掬，訓(xùn)練它們應(yīng)對(duì)入室盜賊的各種把戲或任務(wù)也充滿(mǎn)樂(lè)趣，這些足以讓飼養(yǎng)它們而造成的種種不便可以忽略不計(jì)了。

If possible, choose a pet from the vast number of rescue animals in shelters around the world. You may just save a life, making you feel even happier about your choice and winning you a loyal companion you’re sure to cherish.

如果可以，就從世界各地的各大動(dòng)物收容所中挑一只寵物吧。你不僅救了一條生命，還會(huì)為自己的選擇而感到開(kāi)心，并且又贏得了一個(gè)值得珍惜的忠誠(chéng)伙伴。

8. Try to figure out what’s missing

弄明白錯(cuò)失了什么

The state of being alone simply means no one else is with you. Loneliness, especially when it’s a persistent state, is a warning sign that something essential is absent from your life. The first step to curing the problem is to figure out what’s missing. Do you isolate yourself, by accident or design? Do you work in a career that doesn’t allow for much one-on-one human interaction? Do you have any friends, family, or loved ones you can talk to?

孤單只表明你身邊沒(méi)伴兒。孤獨(dú)，尤其是狀態(tài)持續(xù)很久的話(huà)，就說(shuō)明你的生活缺少某些基本的東西了。解決問(wèn)題的第一步就是想清楚到底錯(cuò)失了什么。你是故意讓自己離群索居的嗎？你的工作環(huán)境不容許面對(duì)面交流嗎？你有沒(méi)有可以?xún)A訴的親朋好友或至愛(ài)？

If the answer to any of these is negative, it’s time to take positive steps to correct that. Join a dating site. Get the contact information for your cousin you haven’t talked to since adolescence. Ask that server at the local diner if she’s free for dinner one night. Even if the answer is no, you’re taking positive steps to alleviate your loneliness.

如果以上問(wèn)題的答案都比較消極，那你得采取積極行動(dòng)進(jìn)行改正了。注冊(cè)一個(gè)約會(huì)網(wǎng)站吧。想辦法聯(lián)系自從長(zhǎng)大后就沒(méi)講過(guò)話(huà)的表親吧。問(wèn)問(wèn)附近餐廳的服務(wù)員今晚有沒(méi)有空一起吃個(gè)飯吧。就算被拒絕，至少你也在積極克服孤獨(dú)了。

9. Is something making you lonely

是不是某件事讓你感到孤獨(dú)

Introverts like their own company, but it’s easy to get too much of it. When this happens, ask yourself what’s changed. Are you with someone who makes you feel lonely even when they’re right next to you? Are you in a new town, job, or living space? Do your surroundings or routines feel stale and overdone? What’s making you unhappy with the situation?

內(nèi)向的人喜歡獨(dú)處，但總是一個(gè)人也不太好。如果孤獨(dú)來(lái)襲，請(qǐng)問(wèn)問(wèn)自己發(fā)生了怎樣的變化。是不是某些人明明就在身邊卻還是讓你感到孤獨(dú)呢？你搬到了新城市、換了新工作或住處？是周?chē)h(huán)境或日常瑣事讓你覺(jué)得索然無(wú)味而難以承受嗎？這種情況下是什么讓你覺(jué)得不快樂(lè)？

In some cases, people feel lonely because something is missing. In others, people feel lonely because something needs to be subtracted. This can be harder to identify, because we always try to hold on to the things we believe make us happy and define us. A big part of overcoming loneliness is defining oneself on one’s own terms.

有時(shí)候，人們感到孤獨(dú)是因?yàn)槭チ四承〇|西；有時(shí)候，人們感到孤獨(dú)是因?yàn)樾枰?jiǎn)掉某些東西。這很難定義，因?yàn)槿藗兛偸窃噲D緊緊抓住自認(rèn)為能夠讓自己開(kāi)心并定義自己的東西，而戰(zhàn)勝孤獨(dú)很大程度上需要用自己的方式去定義自己。

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